Worth It All
by Lioness's Heart
Summary: Oneshot. Rosto the Piper had changed the way she saw things - he had tossed Beka's world into turmoil. He loved her, just as she loved him. He had been worth the pain, and that, she would remember. He had been worth it...


**Disclaimer: I am not Tammy Pierce. I do not own Tortall. If I did, Beka and Rosto would be together already...  
A/N: Another oneshot, and earlier than usual, too! It turns out that today is my three year anniversary on FanFiction, and I just couldn't resist celebrating and putting something up in honor of that. I've had this oneshot stashed in my little hoard for almost a year now, only the ending was a lot different. I rewrote about half of it today, and I'm much happier with it, though it's really not my usual style of angst. So, anyway, don't forget to review! **

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She blinked tears from her eyes as she looked at the cold stone. The grey granite, with its flecks of black and white, and so many shades of grey, was just so cold. It almost frightened her. It was like what her world had become after he's come crashing into it. They had spent so many years together, as friends, and later, as much more. It almost felt surreal now that she was standing there.

The stone did frighten her, but it was because all of those years that had gone by; all that had passed, both joyous and heartbreaking. It was because it reminded her of so many things. The black and white made her remember the time before, when she had so strongly denied him and her feelings for him. Beka had always seen the world in black and white until then. He had changed that, whether he had meant to or not at that time. Everything had seemed so clear, but in reality, it hadn't been.

The grey was the time after, when he had tossed everything around her into turmoil. Rosto had thrown her into turmoil, as well, but of a different kind. He had been so kind to her, while others, those who she had thought were the people on the right side of the line, had not. He had been brave and strong, kind when he needed to be, and harsh when he had to be. Very few people had seen him for who he was, but there were some.

Aniki had been his best friend since they had met in Scanra. She had always been loyal to him in a way that only she could be. She was his best friend, his queen, someone he trusted, and one who had seen him for what he was, not for the mask he put on.

Kora had always been there when any of them needed her. She had seen through his mask at their first meeting, and had known what kind of man he was, even then. He was a good one, as she had always said. He tried to do what was best for others, even if that had meant that he wasn't doing what was best for himself.

Ersken had not been close friends with him, but he had still known him. He had stated a number of times that Rosto was a good man, even if he was a Rogue. Even as a Dog, he hadn't been able to find much to fault in the blond Rogue.

But Beka… Beka had known him best. That mask had never fooled her. She had seen him without it so often that it didn't do more than tell her that something was going on. She had seen him when he was upset by something that had happened, when he was so desperate that he couldn't think straight. She had seen him in those joyous moments when it had only been the two of them. She had seen him when he had to be the Rogue, when he was supposed to be as harsh as the deep of winter, but she had seen the good in him even through all of that.

Beka had always seen that he was different than the way he had projected himself. Though he was every ounce as vain and as proud as he made himself out to be, he was also sweet and kind, and just as vulnerable as she was sometimes. She had been able to see through his mask because he had taken it down for her, and just for her - because he had loved her. She had let him because she loved him, just like she had let her own mask down for him. She had known that if they would ever be able to be anything, then they would have to be honest with each other. They had been as honest as it was possible for them to be, even while they couldn't tell each other about the lives they led in the outside world, where she was a Dog and he was the King of Thieves.

They had not been together long. Only a few short years. Her fingers brushed the frozen stone again, the black and white, and the grey. She was glad of it. She wouldn't have changed anything for the world. She could regret neither their friendship nor their love. She took a final glance and walked away from the stone.

Her boots crunched against the gravel of the city streets. It was a sound she knew well, something she could concentrate on. She watched the buildings as she walked by. Finally, she reached home. The wooden door swung open at her touch, when she turned the knob. She walked upstairs with ease, at peace. She let herself into her room, listening as the door clicked behind her.

For a long moment, Beka just stood there. Tears formed in her stinging eyes. She hadn't even heard his ghost. He had promised that he wouldn't do this to her, but he still had! It had taken him years to wear down her resistance. Yet, he had not complained. He had only taken joy in the fact that she was his at last.

But now he was gone. And it wasn't fair. He had promised - promised that he wouldn't throw himself into harm's way. He had said that he wouldn't take any unnecessary risks. Rosto had done exactly what she had feared he would. He had left her once he'd caught her. Maybe not intentionally, but he had still done it.

Still, Rosto had not been a man that many people understood. Beka knew that he wouldn't have hurt her like this intentionally. She knew that he hadn't meant to get himself killed. It had been an accident.

He had become careless after not sleeping for two days because of all of the threats made against him when his relationship with her was uncovered by a rusher from one of other districts. One of his chiefs had rebelled, threatening him. Then he had challenged him.

Rosto had fallen in battle – in a duel for his life and throne. It didn't help that Aniki had stuck a knife in the man's throat before Rosto had even stopped breathing, taking the life of his murderer. That only made it worse for Beka, because she knew that if Aniki could do it, Rosto could have done it better.

The fact remained, though. He was dead. He was gone. He was never coming back. She hated that fact, particularly as she sat numbly on her bed, staring at the things he had left on her desk the last time he had been in her room.

A necklace. A dagger. A rose made of colored glass. They had been presents. Gifts, just like the ones he had been so fond of giving her. Those only caused the tears in her eyes to spill over now. Rosto had wanted to make her happy.

She missed him. But she knew it would pass. It always passed. Eventually she would forget him. The memories would be faded by time. Even so, Beka couldn't bring herself to ever regret loving him. The pain was worth it for the time they had had together. It was all worth it, she reminded herself. Rosto _had_ been worth it all. No matter what anyone else had said. He had been worth it. That was what she would remember – he had loved her, and he had been more than worth it.


End file.
